Ash Wednesday, 2013
This year, inspired by this post, I plan to intentionally slow down and reflect during Lent. I'd like to learn to pray without self consciousness, to kneel without triggering flashbacks, to genuflect without the inner habitual accusation of idolatry. I've talked in the past about why it's difficult for me, and I intend to continue that conversation, to explore my past with the goal of fixing what is broken, from my spiritual walk to relationships. This world is so broken, and many Christians, including myself, aren't pursuing redemption or restoration. I don't desire to wallow in the broken spaces of my past, but rather, honestly remember where I have been, who I have been, with a goal of resolving the unresolved, repenting and being restored, seeking out those with whom relationships are broken, so that I can joyfully and humbly move forward.
I hope to honestly retell the stories of my past, so I can learn from them. I'll talk about my childhood as a missionary kid, my upbringing as a Fundamentalist, my years at Bob Jones University, and possibly even my time in Sovereign Grace Ministries. All these periods of my life hold negative connotations for me, and I plan to meet those stories head on, challenge myself to own them, and come out the other side a better person, not consumed with bitterness or anger.
Not everything in my past is all doom and gloom, however. My mother rightly reminded me that I have a lot of happy memories, too. So Fridays during Lent are designated "Fearless Fridays," where I will recall and retell a positive story. Sundays, also, will be "Silent Sundays," and I will not have a new blog post on those days. Instead, Sundays are to be completely devoted to the Lord's Day, and social media will be avoided.
I invite you to follow along in my Lenten journey this year. Challenge me and be my companion as I remember and grow. Starting on Ash Wednesday, check back here every day for a new post.